Church

Ok, so this is the post that I have been alluding to. I apologize that I have probably made it sound very exciting, but I doubt that this will excite many beyond myself.

I have started going to church.

And yes, I am still an atheist.

Here is the story....

Long long ago, an idea started to form in my head. Always jealous of my religious friends - not for their beliefs, but their amazing access to friends, children, community and a place to think about their beliefs. I started to envision an atheist church - a place where people could discuss all the worlds religions. Partially as an anthropological study, partially to try and understand why these stories exist (what is the underlying theme that anyone can learn), and partially to examine what parts of religious history correspond to a more neutral approach to history, and what is more likely to be the result of folklore. Furthermore, the idea of understanding other religions seemed only logical in trying to understand those who follow those religions, and argue with them over certain ideas (only when necessary).

Therefore I imagined an institution of learning for those non-believers like me. Unlike a university or something similar, it would be much more church like because it is discussing that one certain subject - religion.

Furthermore, this church institution would offer its members access to like minded individuals, community, friends, child care, etc. One could partake in all the usual church activities like a bible study (with a different tone), classes about history and science, discussion of various moral issues, support groups, choir and youth groups, Sunday school and more.

Some of you may have heard me rant about this brilliant idea, that I loved to think about and expand. I have notes upon notes of all the possibilities for this church. However, it is very unrealistic that I would ever actually start anything like this, so I continued on with my life, nothing changed.

Until I saw the smallest of notes on a online community that I'm a part of. Someone wrote "Thanks so much for recommending UUs to me! I love it!" ... or something of the sort. I didn't bother to read the comments, or look back at their history to see why someone would recommend a church to them. Instead, the instance I saw that, I had to research the UUs.

Of course I had heard of them. I knew they were a liberal religion. I knew that they were pro-choice and pro-gay. I knew little more.

Apparently when I rambled to Rachael about my church, she suggested the UUs, noting the similarities. I at that time wasn't ready for just how liberal they are, and I was ignorant to what they truly are.

So, I googled the church. Looked at their beliefs. What kind of things they have sermons on. What their calender is filled with. What kind of groups they have. I read essays about various beliefs. I read essays about atheism in the UU church. I listened to sermon after sermon online. (I'm in love with the former Spokane UU's pastor...he is an amazing orator!) I was hooked! I loved everything that I read. It seemed so ideal, I couldn't believe it.

Everything matched the church I envisioned. The calender looked exactly how I wanted mine to look. Their core beliefs were so ridiculously basic and logical, I couldn't imagine not believing in them. Their goals (to help each other on our own paths to determining our beliefs) was completely reasonable. No longer was I as narrow minded as when I told Rachael "I don't want to go to a UU church, there's Christians there!". I now saw that the Christians I feared would not be at this church. And if anything, this church would help me not fear someone based on their religion. To separate the belief from the people I disagree with. Not to criticize someone just for their beliefs. I mean, afterall, I am well aware of the fact that I would find most Christian's beliefs to be comforting, and am disappointed at times that I just can't believe it, no matter how easy it would make things.

Furthermore, though I don't believe in a God, that doesn't mean that I don't want to think about what I do believe in. What do I believe on a more spiritual level?

So, on one hand I was thrilled - I found a place that could educate me in the way I want to be educated, but also help me think about things that you can't think about other places too easily. However, I also felt weird. I am an atheist. Why do I want to go to church? Isn't that just silly?

Because of this embarrassment, I stewed away with my thoughts for a few days, not sharing them. I kept reading, kept listening, kept googling. I looked at the same sites over and over, trying to find more information. I knew I couldn't find more online though, if I was serious about this, I had to tell someone and actually go to church.

So, I told Rachael. I was very surprised to hear that she was perfectly willing to go with me. She, too, was curious to see what church is like when you're not an impostor. So, we agreed to go the next Sunday.

As the day drew closer, I got nervous again. Why I am doing this?, I thought. Though there are atheists in the church, we probably don't normally randomly decide to go to church... Luckily I realized that I was just getting cold feet, and that I would never know unless I went myself. So, we went.

I was very pleasantly surprised! First off, everyone was extremely nice. The women at the door knew we were new, and offered us name tags. They told us where to go and smiled big. Rachael and I wondered down stairs, but everyone else was talking to each other, catching up from the week. So we went back upstairs, and sat in our seat. The church is also gorgeous! It was remodeled just a year ago, and it looks great.

UU church's have their fair share of rituals. That didn't make me laugh, or seem weird. Instead, it seemed very reasonable. Someone said welcome. We sang some songs. People could choose to walk up to the front and give announcements - some sad, some happy. Everyone read aloud the church's ideals (which are about being good and true, not religious in nature). They lit a candle, rang a bell (not in that order actually..). The hymns clearly come from a variety of backgrounds - some were modern, some had strong beats, some were clearly more religious and referenced a lord. In general, you could see it was a melting pots of songs, and perfectly described the church.

The sermon was great. One thing that I found interesting is that not only was God never mentioned, but the pastor also talked about being gay and referenced pop culture movies in his sermon. There was still a lesson to be learned, an idea to think about. (What is Enough?) It was an idea that made everyone think. Some more songs were song, everyone held hands and sang a closing song, and the service was over.

After church there was a newcomer's orientation (quite coincidentally), so Rachael and I chose to attend that. About 10 or 15 people gathered at the front to hear about the church, what kind of activities there are, and how to get involved. There will be a membership meeting in a week, but since I'll be out of town, I'd have to wait til spring at earliest.

Afterward Rachel and I discussed it, and I was pleased to hear that she had a similar impression as I. She enjoyed it, found it to be a comfortable place where interesting ideas were discussed. (Though I won't quote her or anything). I was also pleased t hear that she would be interested in going again.

So, today we went again. This time I decided to dress up (not mandatory, but fun), so I wore leggings, a skirt and a nice little sweater. Average to most, but as you all know me - it was fancy for me. Once again, the sermon didn't disappoint. Though we didn't really small talk with people while waiting for the service to start like last time, afterward a very nice woman gave us a tour. She showed us the whole building, introduced us to a lot of people, and was overall just very kind. The sermon this time was about Love (having to do with the holiday, of course). Once again it was interesting and thought provoqing. There was a different pastor this time, and she seemed more religious than the other pastor. She did reference God in her sermon, but only as an idea, not a specific being. Furthermore, I was grateful that she prefaced her mention of that viewpoint by saying: these are my beliefs, but you can interpret the idea as to match your beliefs. A very cool part of the church.

So... I've only gone twice, but I can say for certain that I enjoy going. I feel good waking up and doing something different than every other day of the week. I like dressing up. I like going and seeing all the nice people and hearing thought provoking sermons. I like coming home afterward with so much time left in the day and so much already accomplished. I really like going with Rachael (it is nice to have someone to talk to so you're not standing by yourself), but figure that once I have my car back up here I can go by myself on the days where she can't (which will hopefully be few and far between!).

I can imagine getting more involved, going to community dinners, joining the young adults group, volunteering with the kids. The only problem is that if I move away, I don't feel like it is a good idea to become a member of this church. I want to go, but I may save official membership and participation for the next town I live in.

Once again I realize that this post may not be interesting to you readers (which I just learned actually exist! Though that is no surprise to you...); but it is exciting to me so that is why it was the long awaited exciting piece of news to tell you. One thing that I really love is that the instead I saw "Unitarian Universalist", I had to google it. The instead I read it, I had to go. The instant I went, I had to go again. I feel like that is a very good sign. Since previously only Rachael and Laura knew of this, I am officially "outing" myself as a church goer.

I have found that it is much easier to join a pre-existing church than to create one myself.

My room! (courtesy of my phone)

Sorry that the photos aren't amazing quality, they're from my 5 year old phone. Above you can see that I made my bookshelf nice and pretty! Unfortunately, my bookshelf has been a storage area for quite awhile. It stored books, but it also stored many random papers and notebooks. I much prefer this style. Much more conducive to reading!























Here is the angle from my closet. I have a small little table next to my door. I brought my dresser out of my closet and into my room. I did this for two reasons: one, I did not have enough space in my closet to hang up shirts; and two, I had more free space in my room than in my actual closet (floor space wise). I didn't really glorify everything up for the photo, but as you can see, my chair is clean in the corner with a couple of pillows and a nice warm sweater. This is where I am sitting right now. Love it! I plan on using this area as much as possible, and I hope to buy some light bulbs so I can actually use the lamp above my head. (Hidden secret: I have always had a box of extra linen. Tired of seeing the brown of a box, I stuffed them all behind the chair. You can't see them, and they are easily accessible!!)























My bed is another thing that I didn't try to make pretty. Because it is blurry, it actually looks like there are more things on it than there are. I have a few items of clothes still to be put away. Since I am now below the window, I figure it will be colder at night. Therefore, I have piled all of my blankets onto my bed. Therefore it won't really look made, even when it is. I blame this as the primary reason that the bed looks messy. On other news: as you can see, this bed being in a different spot is one of the primary changes in this room. Obviously, everything in the last photo was in a new spot as well, but the bed is really what makes the room. It was very heavy to move, and I got my work out for the night! (I even let myself skip my nightly workout routine!)

Also - see how you can see the storage underneath? In the past you haven't been able to see that, because the drawers are smaller than my bed, I would just hide them more. However, in an effort to make my closet prettier, I took out two large foam pads that were stored visably, and stuck them under my bed in back. Also, I rolled up my rug and stuff that back behind my drawers. There are also a couple of little storage boxes back there. Nicely hidden, if I say so myself! :)























And this is my closet! Probably the most impressive feat of all! Besides moving all my furniture maybe... It has been my goal to gut my closet and clear it as much as possible. It all started when I moved in here and didn't set up my bed right away (hoping to get a full or queen). Unable to use storage underneath my bed, everywhere else in my room because extra loaded. Even when I made my bed and put storage underneath, the "damage" to the closet was already done. Even when I cleaned my room (which I have multiple times while living here), the whole room would get cared for except the closet - I would just shut the closet doors. Part of the problem was having my dresser in there. It was a nice idea at first, and did make my room seem bigger, but I needed the space in my closet, not in my room. Normally my hamper would fit nicely on the floor next to my keyboard and DVDs. It is extremely spacious! There are two boxes on top, and one of them is even empty!! I also have my strobe light (why? I don't know), my Edmonds suitcase (my travelling ones are hidden in the secret left part of the closet) and a clear box with all my yarn and knitting stuff. Yes, I definitely like this arrangement!






















And lastly, here is my window! I have a couple extra (and unnecessary) things on my window sil (ie peanut butter), but the point of this photo is to show the lights! I have lights, and figured why own them if I don't use them? So I put them up around my window and mirror. Mood lighting, I figure.... And if I don't like them or never turn them on, I figure I can just put them back in storage or get rid of them.

So there you have it, a visual representation of my room! I think I have to do more laundry now. Though, I'm getting kind of sick from the strong smell of my candle, and from all my dust allergies (sneezing a LOT today), so I'm getting really tempted to take a break from the laundry and resume it again tomorrow. Anyway, I still have you tell you something exciting, so hopefully I'll come back here again and do that!

Cleaning Cont.

I actually woke up and continued cleaning! Even though I didn't get to bed until about 5 am, I woke up at 10 or 11. I had an amazing night sleep too! I had been entertaining the idea of rearranging my room for a few weeks now, and the last couple of nights I had had the desire to sleep somewhere else. Not in that same one spot where I spend so much of my time. It was so refreshing last night to sleep in a new spot. Even though I hadn't even had a chance to change my sheets or anything, it still felt like a "new" bed.

I continued to clean out (completely and thoroughly!!!!) my closet, finished putting everything under my bed, cleaned and vacuumed the floor, put ALL of my books away and went through all of random junk stashes. I still have a few odds and ends that I can't get rid of, so I still have a couple of junk stashes, but they are smaller and more hidden, so it is ok with me! In addition, while cleaning I found long ignored decorations, so I added a bit to my room.

I still haven't taken out the garbage, and it is currently sitting outside my door (luckily there is room in the hall that I can put stuff outside my door without it getting in Rachael's way). It is still soooo windy that I plan on waiting til tomorrow. If it is still windy and rainy, then I will take it out, but I figure I'll see if it could be nicer out. I mean, it isn't a long walk necessarily, but it may take a couple of runs and it is on the other side of the property.

I still have a few surfaces to clean (just a little on my old bedside table, bookshelf and desk). They should be really easy, so I will do them soon. I am also running the washer and dryer all day long, and putting away/giving away clothes as they come out of the dryer. It breaks up the chore of figuring that out! Though I wouldn't necessarily call it a chore, because I am still in a pro cleaning mode.

Another advantage to cleaning is finding long forgotten treasures. I had a whole bag of books in my closet that I found, and so I can now read more! Plus I found some more arts and crafts, and am currently (except for this brief break to write) coloring in a coloring book. Love it!!! My laptop also has its own, really easily accessible location, so I am less tempted to use it in bed like I have in the past (when my room was messy, on my lap in bed was the second safest spot for it - second only to its storage area, which wasn't accessible). Needless to say, I am using my whole room right now and it feels great!

Ok, I'm going to get back to drawing. After a bit of that I'm going to need to clean a bit more, and so I'll come here and write more after that. Woot! This is amazing! I love having a clean room. :)

Cleaning

I'm actually in the process of doing it!!

I've been wanting to clean for a long time. Whenever I start, I never get further then cleaning the floor a bit, taking all the dishes out and doing a load or two of laundry (just enough so I can wear clothes to work). This would be great if my room was cleaner to start off with.

Not only am I actually cleaning right now, I also rearranged my room. I felt this necessary for two reasons: I am feeling like I am in a rut, and I want a change. Plus, cleaning and rearranging have always gone together well for me because as I move things, I clean them.

It is almost 4 am, and though I feel completely awake still, I should probably stop soon for the night. I've already woken Rachael up twice! The first time I just put a couple of dishes into the dishwasher and started it. Normally that wouldn't be enough to wake her or make her come out of her room, but she was worried that I was putting away the dirty dishes that were in the washer, instead of starting the load. The second time I woke her was because there was a crazy ladybug in my room. Have I mentioned on here before my crazy fear of ladybugs? They fly funny so I don't like them. Anyway, after fluttering around, this lady bug was chilling on the floor, so I caught it in a jar I had in my room. The kind hearted person I am, I wanted to let it free and not kill it. I opened the back door to let it go, and it was sooooooo windy out there! There was a major gust right as I opened the door, and all of the doors in the apartment banged. (Oops!!) Rachael came out again, worried what the noise was. It's good she did though, because the front door unlocked, and I wouldn't have checked it, so she was able to get up and lock it. The fact that it was unlocked makes me more worried about the weird, haunting like sounds I heard earlier.... (probably from the wind)....

Plus, at the current moment I have a lot of clothes to clean and garbage to take out, neither of these activities which are good for 4am. (Don't want to wake up Rachael again either... I'm such a bad roommate! ;) ) I could keep going on other stuff, but I have a process to how I clean, and right now I am at the phase where I want to take as much out of this room as I can, so I can better see how it will be. Though I've done some organizing stuff (like my dresser), my bookshelf is still a mess, as is my former nightstand.

So my plan tomorrow is to wake up, do dishes, start laundry, take out garbage, clean and organize some more. Once Rachael wakes up, I'll vacuum. I'm excited, and I really just hope that I stay in this cleaning mode (oh so necessary for actually getting any cleaning done).

Oh... and if you didn't notice, I gave up on the 2 accomplishments a day for February. I realized just how difficult it is for me to remember to come onto here every day. Though it is good for me to have the mentality of doing more things, that is counterbalanced by forcing me to spend extra time on the interwebs....

I do have something really fun to tell you guys about, so I'll have to do that on break tomorrow! :)

2.3-2.5

So I haven't been on here in awhile. Let me see if I can remember what I did these last few days....

2.3
1. I went to bed early instead of getting on the computer to write a blog post. This is probably a good thing.
2. I was going to get together with a friend to help her study for a french test. I figured since I don't have to take the test myself (since I am just sitting in the class for fun), the least I could do is study for it. But she cancelled.... I still get an A for effort, though.

2.4
1. Really, all I did was read Pride and Prejudice all night long. :)
2. Seriously, not sure if I did much else... :/

2.5
1. I finished Pride and Prejudice! I LOVE that book.
2. I did some chores... but not much. I was going to get together for dinner and a movie with a French friend, but she had to cancel on me too. If this keeps happening, I'll start to get worried.

So no, I wasn't very productive the last few days. I did something good today though! I'll tell you about it in a bit. First I feel like playing sims or some other frivolous activity. :)

2.2

So... two things that I have done today. Unfortunately, today has been a lazy day.... And I had a lot of plans about what I could do tonight, but didn't end up getting them done. Since I've been reading so much, I had to catch up on two TV shows then try and learn about what is going on in Egypt. In my defense, after I eat dinner, I really only have 3 - 4 hours before bedtime..... but that is a lame excuse because that defense is the exact reason I made up this game. So....

1. Does learning about what is going on in Egypt count? I mean... I know very little about Egypt's past or present... so I had a lot of learning to do. Though of course I still know next to nothing. It's kind of like I am still in school! But I'm just trying not to be ignorant, which means maybe this should be an "ordinary" activity and not count.

2. Does doing laundry count? I'm not sure because it is only one thing on a long list of chores I was supposed to do tonight. Laundry's the one I can't ignore because I can't go to work naked!!

2. Just in case that one didn't count, I walked to work this morning instead of rode the bus! Oh wait... that was just because I was running late and missed it.

2.1

Hey.

So, I was thinking.... I'm going to try a game. I'm not sure how well it will work. I have a tendency to forget about games. But that's OK, its an experiment!

Since it is the 2nd month of the year, I thought I would write 2 eventful things that happened that day. Be it a delicious meal I made, some social activity in which I partook, a good activity that is out of the ordinary or a good exercise I tried out... I will chronicle it here. Or at least try to. Lets see if this even lasts a day.

So... today I:

1. Ate boomers with Rachael! Doesn't count as a culinary creation on my part, but it has been awhile since I've eaten boomers. It is still delicious! Plus this doubles as a social activity. Though it is still just one bullet point.

2. I read Pride and Prejudice! While this isn't out of the ordinary per se, since I have read it many times before, I do not count reading to be an ordinary activity. If I were to spend one full day reading, and another watching a really long movie, I would feel more accomplished on reading day.