A resume - from start to fi.....

7:30 pm.... (Monday)

Writing a resume isn't what I would call fun, and it reminds me a lot of HW.

It is hard to actually write it, instead of think about it and just stare at a blank page. Or ... you know ... write a blog post.

Ok, back to work. Wish me luck!

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11:00 pm... (Monday)

Ok, well I've done all the writing I can do tonight. I really want to finish it and submit it, because I feel bad not submitting my application right when it opened. I was not expecting the job to open so quickly! Especially not while I was out of town. Hopefully my boss doesn't judge me for needing a few days back in Bellingham to submit it. I plan on working on it for a few more hours tomorrow, and then editing and submitting it Wednesday. I have "finished" my resume (though it still needs a lot of work), and have a rough draft of my cover letter. This totally feels like school....

Anyway, I'm going to go shower now, then either go to bed or have a grapefruit and watch something on Hulu. I'll keep you posted on this resume deal, because its the most exciting thing going on right now... :P

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8:00pm, the next day... (Tuesday)

I am not writing. I know I should be. Clearly I am writing about it, and therefore thinking about it. I still have an overwhelming feeling, and the understanding that I wouldn't be able to finish it tonight, so what is the point?

I really don't want to apply last minute. I don't know if they can tell that, but I assume they can. Others may not think it matters, but it matters to me. I don't want to look lazy, or slow. Though now I'm just repeating myself.

Point is - I do NOT want to delay in submitting this application. But I DO want to delay in writing it. The result? A prolonged period of displeasure. Simple solution? Write it and get it over with. Second best? Stop worrying about it for now, and write it later. (Not a near second best by any means).

Unfortunately after I write this, I have to figure out how to write a letter of recommendation. When did everything turn so real? Can't I just be lazy and do nothing? Please?!

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7:30 pm a couple days later... (Thursday)

Is this process taking way longer than it should? I think so. Yesterday I was able to work on my cover letter for awhile. As it is now, the "content" is down, and I just have to make it sound good. I have 5 people lined up to edit for me. Haha when I want to do something social, I feel like there is no one to contact. When I need people to edit for me? Tons of options! I daresay that I have nerdy friends.

Anyway, I am going to work on editing, and get things sent out to various people soon. Hopefully I can get their feedback, and get this thing done tonight!

Also: as far as references go. I had hoped to do three close coworkers. Then I found out that they were the hiring committee, so I couldn't use them. I was down to no references. Then I found out it would be ok to use one, because she had a different role in the hiring process. Then I got the ok to use a student. I figured I could ask a professor. That required me to remember how to write well in French and randomly email someone... not something I wanted to do. Since then, two other coworkers (that I work less directly with) agreed to be references if I want. Now I have MORE people than I need. I much prefer this alternative. :)

Ok, well now I'm going to go edit edit and edit, and then send out this thing to just a few people. Lets get this thing done!!

Oh, and I had my boss write the letter of recommendation (hope that didn't make me look bad...), but that means I don't have to worry about that! :) Woot! (This is for an employee, not me).

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9:00 pm (Thursday)

Waiting... that is what I am doing right now. Rachael was awesome and came right in when I asked her to edit my stuff. I had planned to do a little editing first, but I'm glad I didn't. I'm sure I would have just stared at it and done nothing. Instead, she gave me specific suggestions and ideas, and I was able to make a lot of good changes. Then, I passed it on to everyone else. Currently my resume/cover letter is waiting in Laura, Karisa, Shelley and Anna's inboxes. Laura said she isn't sure she'll be able to get to it tonight, but will try (for a couple of minutes). Karisa is bbsitting, but will look at it later (she is the one who can give me CONTENT feedback, and that is what I really want right now!). Shelley is busy with her own school stuff, but will look over it tonight I think. Anna is teaching right now, but will look at it when she is out.

What does that mean? It means I have to WAIT! The problem with sending it out simultaneously instead of one after the other is that the edits won't grow on each other. Instead, I can look at each persons comments and try and meld them into one, awesome, document. (Or two). Hopefully I do that well. Maybe after it is all done, I will have to choose one last victim to make sure I didn't mumble jumble all of their advice... Darn... maybe I really should have done one after the other. Oops!

Anyway, I could work on the actual application... but I kind of feel like doing that at lunch tomorrow. I have worked more this week than I should, so I have to take an extra short day tomorrow. Maybe instead I'll take a long lunch and get it all in. That would be fun. :)

Ok, well I'm going to check my inbox. And maybe I will shower? Though I already did that today, so that seems like a waste... but it means I wouldn't have to shower in the morning! Hmm... I could clean? I do have to unload the dishes soon.

Only problem with that: I feel nauseous intermittently and I am SOOO hot right now, it isn't funny. This doesn't have to be due to sickness though: I ate WAY more than I should have for dinner (was just leisurely eating while watching TV, not thinking about it...), and my room is probably warm right now!

A shower would feel soooo good right now though. I nice, cold, shower! :)

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7:00 pm (Friday)

I'm glad that I didn't turn in my application already because today at work I was told that you can get eliminated by not listing all the required qualifications specifically. I was planning on just generalizing one part instead of going into the specifics - if I had done that, I may have been disqualified on a technicality! Now that I realize the importance of that section, I will be very specific, everywhere.

I am only writing in this post because it seems silly to not have the resolution of this whole resume thing within this post. I'm not working on it right now... I mean, its Friday after all!

Oh oops! Its now 8pm and I forgot I was writing this... Meheheh. Anyway, Linds is coming over tonight... tomorrow I'm going to Bhams Farmers Market (first day of the year!) and sunday is church..... so it should be a good weekend. BUUUT most important, tomorrow I am going to finally submit this darned thing!!!!

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10:30 pm (Saturday)

CRAP!

I didn't work on it at all today! I was busy until about 5 pm, at which point I came home and took a nap. Then, it was evening, and I wanted to lay in bed and read. Suddenly its nighttime! And all I've done is read! Which has been fun, but still!

CRAP!

I know I have enough time to work on this tomorrow. In fact, Lindsay and I have plans to meet and be studious. But you know what this means? It is due Monday and I am submitting it SUNDAY. SUNDAY.

What the hell is wrong with me? I am the worst procrastinator EVER! And that is NOT ok. I wonder if being out of school recently has made this worse? Like in school I trained myself to be better, and I've lost that or something?

The only reason I have an issue with this is because my coworkers can see when I submit it. I don't want them to see that I submitted it at some point in the afternoon on Sunday. Ugh. On Friday I thanked them for all their help and told them they would finally see my app, because it was due by the time I'd see them again! They laughed, said no rush, and said they were looking forward to it. I keep telling myself that this doesn't matter, because other wise I'll be fretting my way to Timbuktu! But probably this is why I haven't actually turned it in yet. Gahhhhh.

On a more positive note, I have had a good weekend so far.... But gahh why do I suck so much!? ERG.

I think I'm going to go work on it now. That way, I can submit it as soon after I get home from church as possible. alkjsdfieowcnafljsdl;fjkasdkl;fja.

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10:32 pm

Ok....lets be honest here.

1) I love my job.
2) I love my coworkers.
3) I am good at what I do.
4) I like being able to boast about my situation in life.
5) I like making money.

BUT

Part of me thinks the reason I am having trouble actually getting this out is....

1) Why I am so mature? (Doesn't sound like it as of late...) But when am I supposed to have my chance to party, get hungover, screw up and generally make a mess of my life?
2) I know this job gives me stress/anxiety, just because I crave perfection and lean towards anxiety anyways. I watched "Eat Pray Love" this weekend - a movie I was very critical of, but did have a few position reactions. One was to the idea that some people work so hard in the day, that they're too tired to do anything in the evenings. I can understand that worn out feeling, and I do believe it isn't helping me fully live...
3) I still kind of feel like I am in a social rut in B'ham. I still have hope for the future (you can't get the optimistic person out of me!), but it can be frustrating in the here and now.
4) I still know it would be nice to live with Laura.

I truly know that this is what I want to do. I don't actually have doubts. I have .... hurdles .... that make this decision harder, but that doesn't meant it isn't the right decision.

But I DO believe that submitting this application is very symbolic - I am choosing a path that will greatly affect my future. I think that makes it hard for me to actually focus on - I see only the big picture, and can't see the little picture. That in combination with my desire to seem perfect to my coworkers (and knowing I am no literary genius) makes any draft sub par.

Anyway, now that I have over-self-analyzed (one of the things I didn't like about Eat Pray Love), I should focus on the little stuff and just go EDIT IT! I mean, it is written afterall, it just needs to be fancied up in terms of all that good speaking-ness, and it needs a wee bit of expansion in some parts. This SHOULDN'T take that long.

Maybe this means I am losing my smarts and really need to vamp up the lifelong education stuff I've been thinking about.

Or not.

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4:00pm Sunday

I SUBMITTED IT!

I have been waiting to write those words all week long! I just had a few little edits to make sure things sounded good, a few rereads to make sure there were no spelling errors and more than just a little support from Lindsay to actually hit "submit".

I am still nervous that there is still some mistake that I didn't notice, or something that didn't quote come our right. Worst of all, I worry that mine isn't the best application received - I mean they have received over a hundred! I know that I have the experience necessary and that I presented that in my resume and application. But still... I'm no Shakespeare.

Anyway, I feel good! Still anxious, because now I have to wait and see how they react. But I know that I don't have to worry about it anymore, which is nice. I think that this is different from turning in a test or a paper, because I work with these people. I always feared what professors thought as they read these things - but it was never in front of me. And really, in the end it didn't matter. But here - I am trying to stay in this office for years - so it very much matters what I write.

But I guess that all is done and I really shouldn't worry about it. Now I have to worry about the interview! I wonder who will be there... I know three of the people at minimum, but I know there could be more... Apparently when the latest gal to join the office was hired, there was a whole slew of people in her interview. Even though I doubt there could be any strangers - I still don't want a whole audience, either. But that is for another post, because this post is way longer than it should be. Frankly, it is way longer than I imagined it would.... But I guess its me so maybe I shouldn't be surprised.

Anyway, now I have to go and try and make up to Lindsay all of the "how does this sound?" and "are you suuuuure?"s that distrupted her own attempts to study.

Spring Break?

Not sure if this counts as Spring Break, since I'm not a student. But I did just happen to take a week off that corresponded to Spring Break, so I'm not sure what else to call it.

I decided to go home for a few days to a week because Jeff was coming in to town. In addition, Laura and Diana planned on stopping by Edmonds on their way to and from Seatac. With long lost siblings coming to visit, Brian was sure to come round as well. Therefore I had to be there too! It is not too often that we are all in the same place.

Unfortunately, Laura's flight was canceled and so she and Jeff weren't able to be in town at the same time. I got to see everyone individually though, so in a way it all worked out. For me.

In addition to lots of family visiting time, I also got to visit with BBE, which is always nice. Furthermore, it was great to see Max because I love and miss him!! I am missing him more than normal because he currently has a bad ear infection and I gave him medicine before I left and he wasn't too happy about it. Now I feel bad, and just want him to be happy!

The break was nice, but not too busy. Because I took the whole week off, I was able to laze around a lot - which was nice. It also means there isn't too much specific events to talk about. The only real one is that the job was posted, which means I now need to work on my resume, cover letter and application. I realize now that i should have prepared the first two way back when I first heard there would be a job to apply to. Clearly that didn't occur to me, so now I'm faced with the dilemma of doing it all in a time limit. Luckily I have all the perfect attributes and experience for this job, so it should make it easier... I hope. Rachael recently had to create her resume, so I'm hoping to enlist her help tomorrow after work. I feel bad not having already applied, since it has been posted for nearly a week and I will be in the office again tomorrow. My only justification is that I was on vacation so it is hard to concentrate, and I still have another week until closing date. Hopefully my boss has the same logic and doesn't judge me. :(

Speaking of work - it is 1am now I have to go to bed. I didn't get out of town until late (10:40) because I didn't have dinner late, which means I couldn't have dessert until late. Luckily both were delicious, so it was worth it. It does mean I am really tired, and I have to wake up early tomorrow (compared to the last week).

So, until next time!

(PS. Boy oh boy do I need to do laundry. Not sure if I have more than a couple clean clothes....)

Spring Cleaning

This morning I woke up without my phone. Although that should be normal, it didn't let me do what I always do right when I wake up: check the time. I didn't find my phone until Rachael got home 20 or so minutes later, and in that time I never bothered to open my laptop. The only reason I mention this is because based on how I felt and how it looked outside, I figured it was 9 or 10 am. In fact, it was sometime between noon and 1. Clearly I needed sleep! I haven't slept in that long in awhile. I know the post I just wrote said "I better not sleep in, I want to get things done!!!" Well don't you worry, that didn't stop me!

I made a to-do list of all of the random things I wanted to do today. I also created a schedule, with three separate parts: food, social and business. In conjunction with the food section (and since it was one of the things on my to do list), I created a shopping list. This list was the longest list I've made in awhile, and it included the makings for a yummy dinner tonight, lunch tomorrow, soup tomorrow, and lots of snacks and options for lunches down the road. I was expecting it to cost over $100 (my normal amount for the entire month). Luckily, it didn't.

After a shower, a DROVE to the store. I have this in all caps for a reason. As you guys know, I tend to avoid driving whenever possible. Since I am going to be living in Bellingham for a while now, and will soon be solely responsible for getting around town, I figured this is as good a time as any to change my habits. Especially since I wanted to buy way more than I could carry. Not too surprisingly, the drive was quick and easy. :)

The groceries only cost $75. I'm going to try and keep track of how much I spend, determine how much I want to spend, and look into possible ways to save in the future. I have always been lax in terms of how much money I spend on food. As long as things don't go to waste, I was happy. However now I'm trying to make sure I don't increase my cost of living so I can save as much money as possible. Therefore I have put a budget on myself for eating out (still very generous), and I am going to try and learn about how much I spend (before I just give myself a limit). I want to spend more money on ingredients and spend more time cooking. Its an interesting balance of simultaneously trying to increase the amount of food I buy (for cooking) while also fearing becoming too free with my money.

Anyway, once I got home, I went into cleaning mode. This is the real reason I am writing this post, everything else has been a ramble. I cleaned the fridge, the stove, the microwave, my coffee maker, the sink, the counters and the floors. Rachael helped me take out the garbage and recycling, and I went through my shelves and got rid of all my old boxes and garbage. I also vacuumed my room, put all my dishes away and did some laundry. The thing I love about this though: it didn't feel tiring or like it took a long time. Instead, my day felt busy and fulfilled, while never once feeling like I had to be doing what I was doing.

I know this post is probably extremely boring. I am talking about cleaning again, whoop-dee-doo. For that, I apologize. I hope that in the not too distant future this kind of major cleaning becomes so normal that I don't even see it as blog worthy. It just feels good to do everything on a looooooong to do list (except put away 1 laundrys worth of clothes, what I will do after posting this). Plus, this evening I am going to watch Inception, something that I have not seen yet but have heard good things about.

Seems like a good day to me, even though I slept in!!

(I am still not allowed to sleep in tomorrow though, because that would ruin church!)

Staying Late

Since I took Monday off for a long weekend, I had to work longer days this last week. Since I don’t get into the office until 10 normally, it would be easy to come in early. Unfortunately, I didn’t. I didn’t get to bed early enough Monday night to go in early Tuesday. Therefore, I chose to stay an hour late (meaning I don’t get off til 6, home til 6:30). Since I got home so late, I had dinner late and go into bed late, again. Therefore, I couldn’t wake up early enough to go in early on Wednesday. This continued on all week long, until it is now 7:15 on Friday**, and I haven’t had dinner yet.

Though an hour is easier in the evening instead of the morning, because I can sleep in, it makes the evening feel really short. Even worse, I’m tired in the evenings.

Hopefully I remember this analysis on staying late, and learn from it. Next time when I work four days a week, I should wake up early! There are good things: my coworkers often stay late, so I’m not alone. I like being in the office late. It is still light out, and after daylight savings time, that won’t even be an issue.

Anyway, my goal is to get a good night’s sleep tonight so daylight savings time and the like doesn’t mess me up. Tomorrow I am going to go shopping and tidy up my room and hopefully to a little work around my apartment. I’m going to hang out with Rachael tomorrow night and go to church the next morning. Sunday afternoon Lindsay and I are going to hang out. And finally, Sunday night I’m hoping to make enough soup to feed me lunch for the next week. It sounds like a good weekend to me, but won’t go well if I sleep in in the mornings!!

**Wrote this last night, didn't post it until Saturday evening...

3 Day Weekend and Other News...

This weekend I had a nice 3-day weekend in Edmonds. I figured that it is easy to rearrange my schedule to make it fit into 4 days instead of 5. Therefore, why not take an extra day off?

Though as I sit here about to go to bed, I do realize that I didn't take into account enough time to go to class, meaning I am going to have to go in a bit earlier. Wish me luck on that! The fact that I have to go in earlier than normal right after a long weekend is the reason why I am going to get into bed soon instead of watch a TV show like I normally would.

Anyway, Friday I was able to visit with the folks. Saturday morning, I visited with the folks. Saturday afternoon I visited BBE, and Saturday night I babysat E. Since that went late, Sunday morning I slept in. Sunday afternoon I visited my folks. Sunday night I spent with BBE. All day Monday I spent with BE. Monday night I spent with my folks.

Notice a pattern? It is the perfect way to spend a weekend, in my opinion! Though I enjoy seeing friends in Edmonds, I never feel like I'm missing something when I don't. My parents feed me good food and we play cribbage! :) Sometimes I feel like it would be weird to be an only child because your folks attention is completely on you. However, then I realize that about 90% of the time I spend with my folks is just me, and it isn't weird....

Basically, it was a good weekend and I am very happy that I got a chance to go to Edmonds! Especially since today was nice so we played at the park! We also went to a gym play thing, which was fun.

Since I am a nerd/workaholic, I checked my work email throughout the day. I realized that I received 30 emails, 95% of them needing attention. Though that is just an average day for my inbox, it seems weirder when I am not attending do them as they come. It just looks like more... Though when I attend to them all day long there are responses and such, meaning I actually get more! :)

And the other news... I am almost positive I am going to stay in Bellingham. My excitement about living in Spokane has shifted to excitement about living in Bellingham. I spent the weekend looking at apartments, trying to get a feel for what the price would be. I figured out that the majority of my friends will be staying in town. In fact, only 1 friend is moving out of town, and she plans to visit often. I know that I would have to make a strong effort to make this life into my "real life", the life that I aspire to have in the future but don't feel like represents my current situation. I can't go on feeling this, so I'm almost excited that I get to make this change to my "real life" now, instead of later. :)

I have to call Laura now and make sure that I am positive about this decision. Odds are though that I will be telling my boss tomorrow that I am interested in applying for the full-time job.

Real life, here I come!

Missed Opportunities?

Here I am complaining that I don't have enough going on in my life. I know that this is largely my fault, but I also considered a large part of it to be out of my control. However, just today...

-Lindsay and I were going to meet up for lunch. She had to cancel because of school stuff (out of my control), however I was completely ok with this because I felt like staying in my office. (?!?)

-I was going to eat dinner with Karisa, but she canceled on me for school stuff as well (out of my control). However, if she didn't cancel on me, I was about to cancel on her because I didn't feel like driving. (My lack of desire to drive and the amount that that limits could be a whole other post).

-I got a text from Brian asking me to go to the UW Basketball game. It would have required me to leave work early, rearrange my schedule/hours, and miss a work party. But I could have done it. The real reason that I didn't go? Because he was already on campus and I didn't want to drive all the way down to UW and park.

-Shelley asked me to go to a kegger tomorrow night. I love the idea of seeing her and hanging out with her in a more group setting. However, once again, I would have to drive myself to and from. And there may be minors there, and I don't like that....

Anyway, I kind of realized how different my day could have been. Yes, a couple of things were out of my control: but I think in both cases I would have canceled even if they didn't. If I really want to change and be more social and involved, I really need to change my mentality.

In semi-related news, I am still trying to decide where I will live next. All my coworkers vote I stay here. I have fun with them, and could imagine getting to know them better. I could also get more involved in my church. I see some potential for socialness. However - if I don't address my introverted nature, I will have trouble, no matter where I am. What if I move to Spokane and make no independent friends, and only hang out with other people if Laura is there? Is that much better?

However, I can also review my day through different lens: Lindsay and Karisa -- two attempts to be social, both ended regardless of my desires. The invite from Brian - unrealistic scheduling wise and last minute. The kegger - last minute and semi-illegal (It sounds snobbish, but once I turned 21 I had no desire to revert to an under 21 way of life/drinking).

And finally, today is 80s night. I really want to go to 80s night, but have had a reason not to all quarter long. Even if there was a day I wanted to go, the odds that there would be to go with me are so slim, its tragic. My reason today? My knee is acting up. It is a strange combination of a strained muscle mad when I dare to move it, and a joint out of place. It isn't pleasant. No matter the position, my knee is in slight pain. Walking? With a limp. Stairs? Very painful. Dancing? Damn near impossible.

So now it is 11pm and I spent the evening reading, watching TV, interneting and talking to Anna. (The last doesn't count as a bad thing). That is not the kind of evening I want to have!

Drinking on campus??

A couple of weeks ago, I got an invite to "Brews with Bruce", a party after work to socialize with coworkers. I didn't really think about it too much - it didn't seem like something I would do.

Little did I know...

Today (the day of the party), my coworker said that she had an extra ticket. I decided I would join my coworkers and simply try something different.

Each person was given a card with 6 different beers listed on it, and you could get a sampler of each. In addition, you could get a full pint of a beer of your choice. Since I haven't drunk a lot recently, having these 6 samplers plus a full beer... I got drunk.

I believe that I was never more drunk than my coworkers. Either I was so drunk that I was imagining things (ie their intoxication), or we all were a little tipsy. My coworkers talked about things I hadn't heard them mention (living situations, boyfriends, etc). I really really really really really really hope I wasn't more drunk than them. A large part of me believes I wasn't.

It doesn't help that towards the end of the evening I had to chug the rest of my drink before I came home. This mean my wait for my bus, my bus ride, my walk home and my arrival home were all done while I was most drunk. This means I had a drunken conversation with Rachael in person, and then Shelley and Laura on the phone. Oy boy!

My coworkers told me that they think I should stay in Bellingham. They pointed out all the same arguments that I have for that idea. It was fun to socialize with them, and talk to them about things that don't come up in the office. Therefore, as long as I wasn't way drunker than them and clueless to the actual events of the evening, I believe it was a good night! I was in a couple of photos taken with the president, and I hope they don't turn up anywhere important....

Anyway, so I was good and did something different. I took an opportunity to socialize instead of just come home and watch TV. I got to know my coworkers and had fun. As long as I didn't embarrass myself, I believe I deserve a pat on the back.

I'll let you know tomorrow if they were laughing with me (because they were drunk) or at me (because they weren't).

Big Decision

My boss told me today that they DO have the funding for a full time job, and I am "encouraged" to apply. I am SO torn now. I have been envisioning going to Spokane. I LOVE that idea. But I also really like my job. And I LOVE having money.

This is a humongous decision and I feel a little overwhelmed. Please give me your opinion.