Here I am complaining that I don't have enough going on in my life. I know that this is largely my fault, but I also considered a large part of it to be out of my control. However, just today...
-Lindsay and I were going to meet up for lunch. She had to cancel because of school stuff (out of my control), however I was completely ok with this because I felt like staying in my office. (?!?)
-I was going to eat dinner with Karisa, but she canceled on me for school stuff as well (out of my control). However, if she didn't cancel on me, I was about to cancel on her because I didn't feel like driving. (My lack of desire to drive and the amount that that limits could be a whole other post).
-I got a text from Brian asking me to go to the UW Basketball game. It would have required me to leave work early, rearrange my schedule/hours, and miss a work party. But I could have done it. The real reason that I didn't go? Because he was already on campus and I didn't want to drive all the way down to UW and park.
-Shelley asked me to go to a kegger tomorrow night. I love the idea of seeing her and hanging out with her in a more group setting. However, once again, I would have to drive myself to and from. And there may be minors there, and I don't like that....
Anyway, I kind of realized how different my day could have been. Yes, a couple of things were out of my control: but I think in both cases I would have canceled even if they didn't. If I really want to change and be more social and involved, I really need to change my mentality.
In semi-related news, I am still trying to decide where I will live next. All my coworkers vote I stay here. I have fun with them, and could imagine getting to know them better. I could also get more involved in my church. I see some potential for socialness. However - if I don't address my introverted nature, I will have trouble, no matter where I am. What if I move to Spokane and make no independent friends, and only hang out with other people if Laura is there? Is that much better?
However, I can also review my day through different lens: Lindsay and Karisa -- two attempts to be social, both ended regardless of my desires. The invite from Brian - unrealistic scheduling wise and last minute. The kegger - last minute and semi-illegal (It sounds snobbish, but once I turned 21 I had no desire to revert to an under 21 way of life/drinking).
And finally, today is 80s night. I really want to go to 80s night, but have had a reason not to all quarter long. Even if there was a day I wanted to go, the odds that there would be to go with me are so slim, its tragic. My reason today? My knee is acting up. It is a strange combination of a strained muscle mad when I dare to move it, and a joint out of place. It isn't pleasant. No matter the position, my knee is in slight pain. Walking? With a limp. Stairs? Very painful. Dancing? Damn near impossible.
So now it is 11pm and I spent the evening reading, watching TV, interneting and talking to Anna. (The last doesn't count as a bad thing). That is not the kind of evening I want to have!
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