I have hope for the holiday season yet. At first, Karisa and I both felt angry and betrayed. Then we felt numb. Then we started to feel driven, we discussed the next step and were able to talk about the issue without too many emotions. Now, I feel hope. The incident can pop into my head, and I don't automatically feel anything. Karisa and I have been planning Christmas gifts for those in the office who have been so supportive, we're listening to Christmas music constantly, and we're making Christmas cookies tonight. Christmas may not be ruined after all!
All of these emotions have gone so fast. It is almost like it is a grieving process, though grieving may not be the right word. At first, there were just too many emotions to handle. It was so ridiculous, and so infuriating, that you just couldn't stand it, you know? I know Karisa is feeling everything stronger than I am, however since I do know her and Cristina so well, and I've been involved in every step of the process, the severity of my emotions is a close second. It is really working out well having her living with me this week because we are able to discuss everything and work through it together.
Emotions will probably be brought up again since we have to relay the latest news to the office on Monday, but I'm thinking I may minimize retelling of the story for awhile. I really need to write down a thorough account of what happened, but I'm worried that that will make the anger and the numbness come back. I much prefer the hope and excitement that I am starting to feel towards Christmas!
Anyway, I need to go shower and clean, so I will keep y'all updated on how I'm recovering from this whole ordeal!! :)
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