Outlook on life...

Oh, before I go to bed...

I read something really interesting, and its really...brilliant. Its the outlook on life I want, even if I don't always succeed.

"Live life like you're from the future and you came back in time. Every day is an extra day that you get, and you want to live it to the fullest."

I made up the words because its a concept, not a quote, so sorry that I'm not an English major. But you get the idea! Its hard to do exactly, because sometimes you just NEED to be lazy. But on the otherhand I realllly like the concept because it is something that occurs to be sometimes "oh man, if I could relive *this experience*, I could have done this!". Not to say that I have regrets, but hindsight is 20-20 and things that seemed so difficult or scary really weren't.

Anyhoo, yea, its nice to pretend that THIS is my second chance, that I'm doing things the "right way" this time.

That idea is the exact kind of thing to inspire me to clean my room and not live in filth. And I KNOW that we just had a weekend, but my current response to that is "I can do that on the weekend, when I have more time!". I never have time. I just need to do it.

Though I WANT to go home, I get to see Anna after her surgery and LAURA, a big part of me wants to stay. I wouldn't have to drive (which then I feel bad about because the red car gets ignored even longer). I would have time to work on my projects and essays that are coming up. I would be able to clean my room. I would be able to have more gayfests. This quarter is just so hectic leaving town just seems crazy. I could totally imagine not going home at all this quarter. And being ok with that.

BUT, on the other hand, theres LAURA! and ANNA!.

Haha, and then I have to go home the wknd after that TOOO, to housesit. :/ And thats the week before a presentation or too. Oy vey.

Ok, I should stop complaining about my stress to the interwebs and actually get to bed so I don't add more to my real life.

Loves!

But seriously, I feel bad about ignoring the red car. I feel like its similar to how I would feel if Max was up here. I love him and I love having him, but I don't feel like I can give him the care he deserves. *Sigh*