Church

Ok, so this is the post that I have been alluding to. I apologize that I have probably made it sound very exciting, but I doubt that this will excite many beyond myself.

I have started going to church.

And yes, I am still an atheist.

Here is the story....

Long long ago, an idea started to form in my head. Always jealous of my religious friends - not for their beliefs, but their amazing access to friends, children, community and a place to think about their beliefs. I started to envision an atheist church - a place where people could discuss all the worlds religions. Partially as an anthropological study, partially to try and understand why these stories exist (what is the underlying theme that anyone can learn), and partially to examine what parts of religious history correspond to a more neutral approach to history, and what is more likely to be the result of folklore. Furthermore, the idea of understanding other religions seemed only logical in trying to understand those who follow those religions, and argue with them over certain ideas (only when necessary).

Therefore I imagined an institution of learning for those non-believers like me. Unlike a university or something similar, it would be much more church like because it is discussing that one certain subject - religion.

Furthermore, this church institution would offer its members access to like minded individuals, community, friends, child care, etc. One could partake in all the usual church activities like a bible study (with a different tone), classes about history and science, discussion of various moral issues, support groups, choir and youth groups, Sunday school and more.

Some of you may have heard me rant about this brilliant idea, that I loved to think about and expand. I have notes upon notes of all the possibilities for this church. However, it is very unrealistic that I would ever actually start anything like this, so I continued on with my life, nothing changed.

Until I saw the smallest of notes on a online community that I'm a part of. Someone wrote "Thanks so much for recommending UUs to me! I love it!" ... or something of the sort. I didn't bother to read the comments, or look back at their history to see why someone would recommend a church to them. Instead, the instance I saw that, I had to research the UUs.

Of course I had heard of them. I knew they were a liberal religion. I knew that they were pro-choice and pro-gay. I knew little more.

Apparently when I rambled to Rachael about my church, she suggested the UUs, noting the similarities. I at that time wasn't ready for just how liberal they are, and I was ignorant to what they truly are.

So, I googled the church. Looked at their beliefs. What kind of things they have sermons on. What their calender is filled with. What kind of groups they have. I read essays about various beliefs. I read essays about atheism in the UU church. I listened to sermon after sermon online. (I'm in love with the former Spokane UU's pastor...he is an amazing orator!) I was hooked! I loved everything that I read. It seemed so ideal, I couldn't believe it.

Everything matched the church I envisioned. The calender looked exactly how I wanted mine to look. Their core beliefs were so ridiculously basic and logical, I couldn't imagine not believing in them. Their goals (to help each other on our own paths to determining our beliefs) was completely reasonable. No longer was I as narrow minded as when I told Rachael "I don't want to go to a UU church, there's Christians there!". I now saw that the Christians I feared would not be at this church. And if anything, this church would help me not fear someone based on their religion. To separate the belief from the people I disagree with. Not to criticize someone just for their beliefs. I mean, afterall, I am well aware of the fact that I would find most Christian's beliefs to be comforting, and am disappointed at times that I just can't believe it, no matter how easy it would make things.

Furthermore, though I don't believe in a God, that doesn't mean that I don't want to think about what I do believe in. What do I believe on a more spiritual level?

So, on one hand I was thrilled - I found a place that could educate me in the way I want to be educated, but also help me think about things that you can't think about other places too easily. However, I also felt weird. I am an atheist. Why do I want to go to church? Isn't that just silly?

Because of this embarrassment, I stewed away with my thoughts for a few days, not sharing them. I kept reading, kept listening, kept googling. I looked at the same sites over and over, trying to find more information. I knew I couldn't find more online though, if I was serious about this, I had to tell someone and actually go to church.

So, I told Rachael. I was very surprised to hear that she was perfectly willing to go with me. She, too, was curious to see what church is like when you're not an impostor. So, we agreed to go the next Sunday.

As the day drew closer, I got nervous again. Why I am doing this?, I thought. Though there are atheists in the church, we probably don't normally randomly decide to go to church... Luckily I realized that I was just getting cold feet, and that I would never know unless I went myself. So, we went.

I was very pleasantly surprised! First off, everyone was extremely nice. The women at the door knew we were new, and offered us name tags. They told us where to go and smiled big. Rachael and I wondered down stairs, but everyone else was talking to each other, catching up from the week. So we went back upstairs, and sat in our seat. The church is also gorgeous! It was remodeled just a year ago, and it looks great.

UU church's have their fair share of rituals. That didn't make me laugh, or seem weird. Instead, it seemed very reasonable. Someone said welcome. We sang some songs. People could choose to walk up to the front and give announcements - some sad, some happy. Everyone read aloud the church's ideals (which are about being good and true, not religious in nature). They lit a candle, rang a bell (not in that order actually..). The hymns clearly come from a variety of backgrounds - some were modern, some had strong beats, some were clearly more religious and referenced a lord. In general, you could see it was a melting pots of songs, and perfectly described the church.

The sermon was great. One thing that I found interesting is that not only was God never mentioned, but the pastor also talked about being gay and referenced pop culture movies in his sermon. There was still a lesson to be learned, an idea to think about. (What is Enough?) It was an idea that made everyone think. Some more songs were song, everyone held hands and sang a closing song, and the service was over.

After church there was a newcomer's orientation (quite coincidentally), so Rachael and I chose to attend that. About 10 or 15 people gathered at the front to hear about the church, what kind of activities there are, and how to get involved. There will be a membership meeting in a week, but since I'll be out of town, I'd have to wait til spring at earliest.

Afterward Rachel and I discussed it, and I was pleased to hear that she had a similar impression as I. She enjoyed it, found it to be a comfortable place where interesting ideas were discussed. (Though I won't quote her or anything). I was also pleased t hear that she would be interested in going again.

So, today we went again. This time I decided to dress up (not mandatory, but fun), so I wore leggings, a skirt and a nice little sweater. Average to most, but as you all know me - it was fancy for me. Once again, the sermon didn't disappoint. Though we didn't really small talk with people while waiting for the service to start like last time, afterward a very nice woman gave us a tour. She showed us the whole building, introduced us to a lot of people, and was overall just very kind. The sermon this time was about Love (having to do with the holiday, of course). Once again it was interesting and thought provoqing. There was a different pastor this time, and she seemed more religious than the other pastor. She did reference God in her sermon, but only as an idea, not a specific being. Furthermore, I was grateful that she prefaced her mention of that viewpoint by saying: these are my beliefs, but you can interpret the idea as to match your beliefs. A very cool part of the church.

So... I've only gone twice, but I can say for certain that I enjoy going. I feel good waking up and doing something different than every other day of the week. I like dressing up. I like going and seeing all the nice people and hearing thought provoking sermons. I like coming home afterward with so much time left in the day and so much already accomplished. I really like going with Rachael (it is nice to have someone to talk to so you're not standing by yourself), but figure that once I have my car back up here I can go by myself on the days where she can't (which will hopefully be few and far between!).

I can imagine getting more involved, going to community dinners, joining the young adults group, volunteering with the kids. The only problem is that if I move away, I don't feel like it is a good idea to become a member of this church. I want to go, but I may save official membership and participation for the next town I live in.

Once again I realize that this post may not be interesting to you readers (which I just learned actually exist! Though that is no surprise to you...); but it is exciting to me so that is why it was the long awaited exciting piece of news to tell you. One thing that I really love is that the instead I saw "Unitarian Universalist", I had to google it. The instead I read it, I had to go. The instant I went, I had to go again. I feel like that is a very good sign. Since previously only Rachael and Laura knew of this, I am officially "outing" myself as a church goer.

I have found that it is much easier to join a pre-existing church than to create one myself.